Sometimes

Sometimes in life things seem to get a little out of whack. The walls start to close in. Nothing seems as it should. You might feel a little raw, discubobulated, and even like you don't fit in where you are. I have felt all of those feelings lately and then some. Can't put my finger on it. Can't make sense of it. Not sure which road to take or what way to turn. So I turned to the source of some of my greatest joy in this life...my kids. I was looking at old pictures (well not that old but a couple years back), and got some inspiration.

When life seems a bit crazy, and things seem a bit out of your control then do as the boys do, jump in head first. Get your feet off the ground and soar. There will always be trials. There will always be disappointments in this life. It is all part of the test or the journey we are on. We can go about finding our way happily with our feet and head held high. Or you can sit on the grass and let it all pass by without lifting a hand or dreaming a dream.

At times it may seem like we are right side up and other times it may seem like we are upsidedown. But as this picture illustrates it really is in the perception, what is up? or what is down? Depends on where you are on the journey. At this point in my life I feel like Cory in this pic, I am a little upside down, trying to find the way to the surface. To make sense of my life. I have a great life, I am so very blessed. I just feel a little lost. The great thing is that I am not settling for that. Instead I am reading, searching, and praying to find my way. Moving forward and trying not to look back. To be a better person, a more loving mom, a more involved grandma, and a more understanding wife. It is a process but one worth working through. When I was a little girl, I loved playing with Barbie dolls. I didn't have any of my own, but my friend Susan did. She had tons of them and lots of clothes for them to wear. She didn't like playing Barbie's though so it was a real treat when I could talk her into it.I could never get enough. We had s much fun making the dolls do what we wanted them to, to give them an adventure we could only imagine or dream up. I don't know why I didn't have any Barbies of my own. I expect it was because I never asked for them. Or maybe they cost too much, not sure but it really doesn't matter. Where am I going with this? Well, if we want something bad enough (like playing with Barbie) we will find a way to make it happen in our lives. It may come through someone we know or someone we meet. The key is that we have to be looking for something in order to find it. When we find it... then the joy that we were searching for and the journey it took to get there is so much more worthwhile.

We meet people along the way that help us on our journey or our goal. Some may have a different approach, some help us 'figure' things out. It takes thought, prayer, and inspiration. The thing I have realized about myself is... that I don't like making the journey alone. I like to have someone there to champion me, to say "that's a great idea" or I agree with that. My sister Ann has been that person for me in so many ways. We have shared some pretty incredible and wonderful journeys together. I love her so much. Also my children are great supports for my ideas and my plans (when I have and share them). Sometimes we have a plan but don't know how to get it rolling...

That's when someone special steps in and says, "Let me show you how it's done!"  I have heard that said many times by my dad. He has taught me so many things about woodworking, building, life, love, committment, loyalty, dependability, crafting, doing my best and never cutting corners.My mom has also been there for me through thick and thin, in good times and bad, always willing to be my cheerleader. And here in this picture dad showed his grandson's the finer art of dutch oven cooking. I am truly blessed. I eagerly anticipate my journey that I am on. I know I can find the peace, the comfort, the balance that I am seeking with my 'new' life as the bishops wife and growing older. It is something I don't wish on anyone, it is something that I am truly struggling with, it is something that consumes Len's life and leaves mine very empty and lonely. I will find my own way, whatever that is. I will find the balance and Iwill learn to soar. Jonathan Livingston Seagull said, "Everything that limits us we must put aside...The trick Fletcher, is that we are trying to overcome our limitations in order, patiently. We don't tackle flying through rock until later in the program." Words that strike a familar chord with me. I must learn that there is a season for everything, that I can't have it all right now. That I should continually work toward 'flying through rock' so that I will be ready when the time comes to do it. For now I must live each day the best I can. I must look for the miracles that are around me and be grateful for them. I must champion those who paths cross mine, I will be the best I can be and live the best I can. Feet off the ground and dive in head first!

Colorado Visit Jan 2012

Ann and purple

Ann sent me plane tickets to come over and see her. It has been awhile since we have seen each other. We have such a great bond as sisters. We laugh, play, craft, walk, talk, cook, and work together so well. It is really fun to spend time with her for what ever reason. This was an especially fun visit as Ann's dog Diera has 9 puppies. When I got to Kiowa there were only 8 puppies left. They were so cute. I enjoyed my time spent with the little 'pupsters' as Ann lovingly calls them. She has not named any of the little ones. She has put color collars on them and they go by the name of the color on thier collars. Ann is holding 'purple'. She was preparing herself to say good by to this little purple erple. She tried not to bond with them but it was nearly impossible. Purple is a  long haired German Shepherd. She was on her way to Dallas Texas.

Yep, pretty much way out of my comfort zone. I am a professed dog not liker! They scare me something fierce. I guess that stems from my childhood when I had a friend who owned a large German Shepherd dog that was not nice. One day she told the dog to "get her" and that dog bared his teeth and barked a blood curdling bark and started to 'get me'. My so called friend just stood there and laughed as I screamed terrifying screams. The dog did not get me...I was fine...but everytime I hear a dog bark or see a dog walking toward me, I sweat like a pig and get really anxious. I try not too but there is something in me that brings out those feelings of fear. I did however love the little guys.

Oh, way out of my comfort zone

Ann has such a love for animals. She cares deeply for them. She works very hard to maintain her animals at the ranch. Feeding twice a day, maintenance, vet trips, shots, cleaning stalls and mucking what ever needs to be mucked at the moment. She is quite something to see in action. You would never guess this about her when you see her all gussied up in her day job attire. Successful in one area - successful in all areas! Here she is again saying good bye to Purple, she is now in Dallas Texas, a sweet little yellow rose for sure.

This picture is definately worth a thousand words!

Good bye Miss Purple! We love you!

We love to craft together when I come to visit. Ann had a project that we saw through from conception to it hanging on the wall. She repurposed and old frame from her garage, we went to Home Depot and they cut us this great board. We painted chalkboard paint on the board, wood glued the boad to the frame, and then we enlisted Bruce to hang in on the wall for us. It was so cool to make. I came home ready to make my own now! Thanks Ann for the great idea for repuuposing old picture frames. The possibilities are endless I think!

Chalkboard project

New Years Day 2012

We have wanted to hike up Shinobe Kibe for many winters now, so today was the day. It was too cold for snakes, and the temps were perfect for us to go up, up, up. This flat topped mesa is located just south of
I-15 at the Washington Parkway. You can see it from the interstate, it is the flat topped mesa that looks like it is tipped and surrounded by the virgin river. An entitiy of itself. The hike is nearly straight up the northwest face. It was a little cold starting out as the sun had not yet crested. The trail is winding and marked by rock carens. It is not for the faint of heart. And truly was hard for a seasoned walker like myself.

A top Shinob Kobe


Once on top we were pealing off the layers of clothing we had on to keep warm. It was toasty and so perfect. Around 68 degrees with no wind. There were so many fun rocks to climb on and you can see 360 degrees in any direction. You get a great view of St. George, Washington, Hurricane and everything in between.

Traversing the terrain a top Shinobe Kibe

There is one of the 6 1930 concrete airline markers on top as well as a geocache. Len is logging in our climb and standing next to the marker. They are about 58 feet long made of solid concreted in the shape of an arrow pointing toward Salt Lake City. They were used to direct air traffic in the 1930's. This is the 3rd one we have found. We have heard there are 3 others but have yet to find any information or coordinates for them, game on! In the background you can see the turf farm in Washington. In between us and the turf farm is the Virgin River it was hard to get a very good picture of the marker as we are literally on the summit.

1930's Concrete Airline Marker


Of course there is a geocache at the top as well. Len found it right away. It was suppose to contain several "Travel Bugs" as well as 2 Geo Coins, but they had been taken by local kids that climb up there to see what people leave and then take it. So sad, because those travel bugs are to be moved on (people track them) and they cost money. Kids!!!!!

It wouldn't be a hike without a GeoCache

It wassch a perfect place to reflect on the past year and to make plans for the coming year. We made travel plans and dates of things we want to do this year in the way of vacation and get aways. I am excited to do more hiking, biking, living this year! Happy 2012!!!!